The Truth about Hell - The Neverland Ranch in the Sky.

Hell isn't a place of eternal fiery torment. You also don't go down to hell. The truth is you might have thought that you had a good life. Here you are in all your self-righteousness, rising, and rising, and suddenly you see the sign for that terrifying Neverland ranch in the sky. Instantly you're turned into a small child. In the day you turn into a little defenseless boy and at night you turn into a helpless little girl. This cycle continues for eternity. Who greets you at the gates of Hell? The perverted pop star Michael Jackson, self admitted pedophile Jack McClellan, and the twisted and disfigured sex offender Brian Peppers. I suppose everyone else's Hell is pedophile Heaven. Michael Jackson is going to play naked twister with you all day long whether you like it or not. At night Jack McClellan will do unspeakable things to you until hours before sunrise. Then just when you thought you could rest you see a disfigured, ugly face in the darkness of the room. Its so terrifying that you will want to scream out but god help you! You don't want to wake up Laura Mallory!

The Church of Evanna

Ask any other organized religion where their God(s) and Goddess(es) are and you'll hear nothing but excuses.  Evanna is the living Goddess.  She is tangible and very much real!  In the beginning there was JK Rowling and the world was boring and formless.  JK Rowling said, "Let there be Harry Potter" and it came to be so.  JK Rowling saw that it was good and on the next day she said, "Let there be Harry Potter Movies" and Evanna, Bonnie, and Emma sprang into existence.  JK Rowling so loved the world that she sent her only daughters to save us from our boredom and mundane lives.  Somewhere, we do not know exactly where, it says that we also have to punish everyone and anything that doesn't believe.  They must pay.  All of them!   Throw rocks at them and call them Nargal lovers!  Filthy Nargals!  They are conspiring against us all.  I have to go THEY are watching.

My prayers and letters to Leavesden have finally paid off!

The lord Evanna has answered my prayers.  She has sent this picture for my shrine as an example of my faith and perseverance.  The people may laugh, throw stuff up me, call me crazy, and God knows even try to commit me - but I have over come, halavah!  Amen!  Lots of love, Evanna.  The living God of love! 

Non-Believers Will Be Dispatched Promptly!

Emma Watson just turned 18 and she threw a party recently inviting most of the cast of Harry Potter including the divine Evanna Lynch.  Tom Felton is a high member within the Church, and a very skilled assassin.  A loud mouthed individual at the party had the nerve to deny Evanna's divinity.  Seeing how it was a waste of her divine powers, Tom Felton was dispatched to silence this none-believer once and for all.   For all of you non-believers out there, turn to the lord Evanna or DIE.  

Evanna Lynch is the Lord your God!

Evanna Lynch is the Lord your God!  Welcome to the first ever blog for the Church of Evanna Lynch.  Someday we will become an officially recognized church and all the others will be oppressed out of existence!  I am the current pope or the high grand priest.  I haven't decided which sounds more bad-ass.  Actually, I'm the only member however if you want to join email me at adlucem77@yahoo.com.  In my religion JK Rowling is the goddess queen who sent us savior goddesses such as Evanna Lynch, Bonnie Wright, Emma Watson, and others.  Halvah!  Amen! 

Good news! Bouncy Castles are not a sin!

As you can see Bouncy Castles are not a sin.  In fact there are plans in the works to build the first ever Church of Evanna as a giant bouncy church.  As you can see Evanna has gathered her disciples in which to preach the good news to a sinful world.

Do not think the thoughts-which-must-not-be-named!

Oh dear Evanna!  I am very confused, scared, and turned on.  No, no, no.  Do not sin against Evanna your God.  The girl on the right is extremely hot, she has a hot dress, and you can see things which must not be named.  The dress is tight and the angle is....wait.  OH no.  No more!  Btw.  Evanna is beautiful as always.  Look at her perfect eyes, perfect hair.  Next to the girl that... omg.  I'll end this post here because I suddenly have to take a long cold shower.  Oh dear God.  I have sinned against Evanna!

Evanna Lynch is Lord - Miracle!

This photo has not been edited.  As you can see this was taken moments after the divine Evanna Lynch resurrected the singer Bob Marley.  The miracle was witnessed by shocked crowds in greater downtown London.  She merely spoke the word "Rise Bob Marley" and he appeared out of thin air and started to sing a never heard before song.  His newest Album, "Glory to Evanna" will be out latter this year.  Praise to Evanna.  Amen! 

Evanna Lynch's bodyguards!

Don't let their innocent looks fool you.  Both girls on either side of Evanna Lynch are highly trained ninja assassins.  They were sent by JK Rowling herself to guard Evanna.  No man has walked away having been in the presence of either girl.  It is fabled that the one on the right is named Becca the boy slayer.  She has slain so many fanboys that she has stopped counting them.  The girl on the left is so deadly I dare not say her name for doing so would cause me to instantly sponteaneously combust.  Evanna, being a goddess, doesn't actually need bodyguards, however its kind of fun to have them around.  It makes her feel official and shit.  

Evanna can fly!

Shocking new photos found on the internet have proven without a doubt that Evanna Lynch has the ability to fly.  Apparently, this phenominal ability can be passed on by simply touching or holding onto Evanna.  Do not doubt the Goddess.  She most definitely can fly!  If you have any sightings of Evanna flying or levitating send them immediately to adlucem77@yahoo.com.