Non-Believers Will Be Dispatched Promptly!

Emma Watson just turned 18 and she threw a party recently inviting most of the cast of Harry Potter including the divine Evanna Lynch.  Tom Felton is a high member within the Church, and a very skilled assassin.  A loud mouthed individual at the party had the nerve to deny Evanna's divinity.  Seeing how it was a waste of her divine powers, Tom Felton was dispatched to silence this none-believer once and for all.   For all of you non-believers out there, turn to the lord Evanna or DIE.  

Evanna Lynch's bodyguards!

Don't let their innocent looks fool you.  Both girls on either side of Evanna Lynch are highly trained ninja assassins.  They were sent by JK Rowling herself to guard Evanna.  No man has walked away having been in the presence of either girl.  It is fabled that the one on the right is named Becca the boy slayer.  She has slain so many fanboys that she has stopped counting them.  The girl on the left is so deadly I dare not say her name for doing so would cause me to instantly sponteaneously combust.  Evanna, being a goddess, doesn't actually need bodyguards, however its kind of fun to have them around.  It makes her feel official and shit.